There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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