and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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