Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize