Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
