Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
