Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
