We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
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I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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