I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
