if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
