They should really pass out barf bags in church
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize