Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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