I showed him my bush... on skype.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My life is pants optional.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
