i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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