I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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