he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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