Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize