thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
