No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
