You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
