why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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