Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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