You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
