doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
