quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
