I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
