please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
