i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
