Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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