I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
