Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
