She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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