am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
