So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
