He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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