I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
