You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
