A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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