that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize