You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize