Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
