wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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