I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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