and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
