The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
