covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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