Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
