dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
This toilet bowl is my home.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
