oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
