don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
