Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
