i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The air taste purple.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
