I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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