just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
