kristin has been a bad kristin
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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