Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
