Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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