Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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