this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
